Okay this is hard.

I’ve been keeping a secret. Not from all of you, but from a lot of you, and now I’m wondering exactly how that secret should be revealed.

Look, I’m almost definitely going to at least come close to talking myself into a corner here, but try, just for me, to not guess the thing. Because if this all works, this secret will turn into the greatest fucking surprise.


So I’ve had this plan brewing for about a month, maybe a little more. It took me a long fucking time to pull the trigger, but the impending war in Ukraine – and realizing that there’s some serious potential for it destabilizing the entire region – made the decision a lot easier. 

And look: not to out myself or anything, but the plan begins with a flight from Lviv to Poznan on Wednesday.

Poznan is in Poland, about three hours from Warsaw.

But you see: I have a runny nose. And a sore throat. And I wont find out wtf it is until my test on Wednesday morning.

And if it is the exact thing from which all our lives have pivoted for the last two years, it will thwart my plan completely. 

And put simply, this will devastate me. 

Like, Johannesburg-level devastation.

And in the meantime all I can do is let my mind swirl around the possibility of my flight taking off without me.

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